The 0-10 pain scale, as my patients understand it

"My abdominal pain? It's a 10/10."

"The pain? Oh yea, it's about a 9... Can you come back when you have my medicine? I've got to finish this tweet."

Zzzzzzzzz... zzzzzzzzzzz... zzzzzzzzz... "Hey! Weren't you supposed to bring me more drugs? I have 10/10 pa..." zzzzzzzzz

"Well, I've had this cold for awhile. My sore throat is at least a 6 all the time, but when I cough it's definitely a 10/10."

"Only out of 10? Oh no girl, it's a 20."

"Don't... worry... about... me. It's only like a 3/10. I'm sure... you have... sicker... people... to help."