Who invented the call bell?

Pretend like before each minute marked, the call bell goes off and a nurse goes in and asks the patient what s/he can do to help him.

2127: "Before I go to sleep, can we rub some lotion on the back of my left shoulder? It feels a bit dry."

2136: "Can you scratch my nose?"

2138: "My nose still itches."

2144: "Can you scratch my forehead? The itch has moved from my nose to my forehead."

2147: "We should probably put lotion on my forehead now."

2155: "Am I dying?"

2158: "Does my gown need to touch me? I'd prefer it not touch me."

2204: "It's my eyelids now. They need lotion. Do you think we should just put lotion on my whole face?"

2209: "What if we call my wife, and she brings some rubbing alcohol in... Can she put rubbing alcohol on my face and back?"

2220: "I was just making sure you guys were still out there."

2230: "Do you think maybe we can clip my toenails tomorrow?"

2235: "Are you sure I'm not dying?"

2238: "How many types of blankets do you guys have? I don't know if I like this one."

It went on all night. With a break between about 2330 and 0155 and then again between 0330 and 0430. You'd think the sleep would help. It didn't.

Overheard in the ghetto

Knock knock knock! "Rescue squad..."

Kylie, EMT extraordinaire, strolls in the door to the house, ready to save a life.

Six year old in his PJs, playing video games, without batting an eye: "Hey, yo girl. Show me your twat!"

........

Totally appropriate greeting.