Now I've been doing this awhile and let me tell you, the officer really doesn't care that you're drunk. She has to run your ID in case you're wanted for murder in Arizona or something, but really she doesn't care. Unless you do something dumb that makes her have to care. And therein lies my patient's problem.
Officer: "Can I see your ID?"
Drunky McWasteface: hands over student ID (which has no birthday on it coincidentally)
Officer: "Great, thanks. How bout a driver's license?"
DMW: ponders this as he flips through his wallet. Hands over an out of state driver's license.
At this point, I glance down, mostly out of curiosity over the pretty, colorful out of state license. Then I come to the same conclusion the cop did. The IDs don't match. The brilliant young man gave her his REAL student ID and told her that was his name. And then gave her his FAKE ID with a totally different name on it.
Smart move dude. You just basically tied her hands to a pen and a ticket pad. You MADE her write you a ticket. She didn't want to get you in trouble. You begged for it.
Next time here's what you do...
1) Pretend you have no ID. She's not going to search you.
2) Claim you only have your student ID.
3) Give her your real driver's license. She really doesn't care that you're underage. Do you think she's an idiot? She's a cop in a college town.
4) Don't get drunk and sleep on the sidewalk, necessitating this entire interaction.
5) Actually pull off your fake. Rock it. McLovin did it.
All are viable options (except #5... don't try #5 with a real police officer). I'd really prefer you go with #4 though. Thanks! <3, A
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