I'm having a heart attack

Me: "Hello there sir. Did you call 911?"

Mr. Dextrocardia: "Yeaaa, I'm having a heart attack."

Me: "Oh ok... what's bothering you that you think you're having a heart attack?"

Mr. DC, vaguely gesturing towards his chest: "My heart hurts. It hurts real bad. You gotta give me something!"

Me: "Chest pain you say? Anything else bother you? Shortness of breath, nausea? Where is that pain located exactly?"

Mr. DC: "It hurts where my heart is!!"

Me: "So where? Show me where."

Mr. DC, pauses to think about this for a minute: "It's... uhhh... over here." Gestures to his right anterior chest. "Your heart is on the right... so that's where my pain is."

Me: "That's where your pain is or that's where your heart is?"

Mr. DC: "Both because your heart is on the right... right?"

Me: "Your heart is on the left... ish."

Mr. DC: "Oh well that's where my pain is. I forgot."

Oh sure. Let me draw up your fentanyl now. I bet you're "allergic" to nitro.



Fun fact of the day: dextrocardia occurs in <1% of the population. Having dextrocardia without other other congenital defects is even more rare. I've seen it once. Pretty freaking cool.