Inappropriate

So Georgia, perhaps the sweetest and most innocent nurse I know, was taking care of Mr. B last night. He'd been in our unit for awhile with his infection secondary to IV drug abuse (clean needles people!) and his ensuing sepsis. We all had been taking turns falling on the proverbial sword because he was generally just a surly, rude and unfriendly guy. So last night was Georgia's turn.

They had an uneventful night, probably because Georgia is so nice and catered to his every whim. In the morning, she was helping him get up to the chair and he reached towards her chest. She thought he wanted to see her name on her ID and pulled it out to show him. Wrong.

Mr. B: "I don't want to see that."

Georgia: "Oh, ok, what do you want to see?"

Mr. B: "I'm trying to touch your titties."

Georgia, gets all flustered: "Mr. B! You can't do that!"

Mr. B: "I can do whatever the fuck I want. It's your job to make sure I'm happy. Get over here and let me touch them. I haven't gotten any since I've been stuck in here." 

Luckily, she left the room then. She was visible shaken and disturbed when she came and told me. She said that he asked her to bathe him next and that she wanted to say no. I of course told her not to do so. In fact, I didn't let her go back in for the rest of her shift. We assigned boys to that patient for the duration of his stay with us. Female employees who had to care for him used the buddy system while in his room. (This didn't stop him from repeatedly displaying his penis to said female employees on multiple occasions.) We told the story up the hierarchy to our manager and patient rep and nursing supervisor. But nothing came of it. He denied his behavior so it was "his word against hers." Classy. Clearly, we always want to err on the side of being warm and fuzzy to the patient. Way to stand up for the employees.

Now I realize I've previously posted a "funny story" about a delirious old guy commenting on my boobs. Double standard. So shoot me. It's a whole different ball game when the comments are coming from a 80-something year old, totally delirious and confused old man and a 40-something year old who's completely with it and has been an ass throughout his whole stay. Both are inappropriate, but there are gradations.

Are there any other professional scenarios outside of healthcare where the mentality is just "grin and bear it?" "It's not really their fault..." Consequences are just so rare for patients who abuse caregivers. In any other work-related scenario I can think of, the perpetrator has some sort of negative consequence. You look sidewise at a flight attendant and you risk getting thrown off that plane. Reach for a bartender's breasts and a bouncer will quickly be forcing you to get your drinks elsewhere. Most places of business reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Our corporate institutions have lengthy sexual harassment policies. But healthcare providers can't kick someone out of the hospital. We are obliged to continue to care for the patient.

In my short years of being a nurse I've had a knife pulled on me, had a patient break my wrist, been thrown to the ground and strangled, endured more references to my breasts than I can remember and can't even count the number of pinches, scratches, bruises and bumps patients have doled out.

Now I know what you're going to say. I should have made a big deal out of some of these situations. And I'm sure I could have. In some circumstances, I considered the patient's disease at fault, not the patient themselves. (Except for the time my wrist was broken. I considered that to solely be the physicians' fault. Another story....) That's the overwhelming thought I believe. And one I support in some circumstances. But why do people think, in ANY circumstances, that hurting or harassing a caregiver is an appropriate response? Being scared and sick is terrible. But it's not an excuse to abuse me.