You never really had chest pain did you...?

Communications: "Medic 14, you're going to Restaurant-Across-The-Street-From-The-ER for 45 year old male with chest pain."

...drive, sirens, etc...

Me: "Hello sir, what's going on tonight?"

Mr. Iwannamorphine: "Oh honey, got some bad chest pain."

...dramatically get into the amubulance...

Me: "Tell me about this chest pain."

Mr. Iwannamorphine: "Well my tooth is killing me and it hurts so bad that it makes me have chest pain. Gotta give me some morphine, you gotta."

Me: "Here's some aspirin. For your 'chest pain.'"

Mr. Iwannamorphine: "Naw, don't need aspirin. That chest pain is gone now. It's the tooth. Teeth only respond to morphine."

Teeth only respond to morphine. I clearly skipped that day in nursing school AND medic class.

We go to the ER (less than 1 minute transport time). He went to triage, because well he had dental pain... And to my surprise, come to find out, he had walked out of the ER 3 minutes prior to calling 911, after waiting about 15 minutes and not being seen.

 They only offer ibuprofen in triage... Making this a great idea.