This is NOT the Ritz

Hospitals, like pretty much every other industry, are becoming customer service driven. There's something to be said for that. I like nice people. I like it when nice people are nice to me. I especially like it when nice people are nice to me when I'm sick and feel like shit. But I want to go to the hospital that has the best doctors and nurses and staff, not the nicest. Hospitals are for medical problems. I've been quoted many times saying, "Dr. J is such an ass (he is), but he's the only one I'll let operate on me." That's because he's the best. Dr. J. could probably be nicer. It'd definitely make my life easier at times... But he's good at what he does and since he's a surgeon, whose job is to operate successfully, not be nice to me, I'll take it.

But thanks to the internet and the fact that half the world is fucking entitled, hospitals' reputations can be damaged by any idiot who can type. Newspapers love publishing shit like, "I was so cold and it took the nurses 15 minutes to bring me a blanket." Poor you, that's sad. The U is obviously a terrible hospital. You missed the part where the nurse, on her way to get said blanket, walked past the room where Grandma was trying to escape from her bed and about to fall and decided to prioritize that over immediately returning with your blanket. This makes my boss' boss' boss send me email likes "Today's employee goal of the day is: Smile at everyone in the elevator." I'd rather stab myself in the eye, thanks.

So last night my orientee, Georgia and I were taking care of Mr. Clog. He had an endovascular carotid stent placed, putting him in my ICU overnight. This procedure gets you an ICU admission post-procedure for q1 hour neuro checks for 12 hours and then you get to go home in the am. Angio to ICU to straight home. Rarely even go out to the floor. Which, pretty much by default, made Mr. Clog the least sick patient in our unit. He wasn't on oxygen. He had two PIVs... no central or arterial line. Yet he complained about everything. His IVs were "touching" him. He didn't like having cardiac monitoring leads on. But he slept most of the night and seemed to understand our explanations why he had to keep his leads on and IVs in.

So I was a little surprised in the morning when he started screaming at me and calling me a bitch. (Disclaimer: I have my moments, but I'm generally pretty nice to patients. Not top 10% on the nurse niceness scale, but definitely top quarter.) He asked for our manager and said he wanted to file a complaint. When I asked him what the problem was he said, "I come to the hospital to be pampered. Your only job is to pamper me and do everything I tell you to do. I didn't feel pampered last night and your manager should know that."

Seriously? Pampered? This is a hospital! This is NOT the Ritz. And I'm very highly trained at a lot of things that don't include pampering you, but keeping your sorry butt alive another day. (Also, an 60ish obese country white guy asking to be "pampered" is just weird in and of itself...)